It's a Girl!!!

Claira is having a baby sister! We (finally) saw her for sure yesterday. She was moving and wiggling and kept her feet tucked under her. When she finally stretched out her legs, she hid behind her hand... But we got a clear shot and know for sure. The tech was laughing at her because she was being "modest" and wouldn't let us peek.

Everything looks great. Placenta is in a great position, baby is right at the size she should be. We even got some 3D pictures, and when I can figure out how to scan them and load them here, you'll see them!

We're talking through names and will post that as soon as we know...

Sometimes, I Just Don't Wanna...

Sometimes, I just don't wanna be "the wife/mom". It is NOT that I don't want to be married to my husband or to be mother to my daughter. It's NOT that I don't want to have to my family - it's all the other "stuff" that makes it HARD to be a wife & mom.

It's the working all day 5 days a week and trying to take classes online (which I freely admit I willingly chose to do) and then coming home and trying to think about dinner and potty training and laundry and dishes.

It's easy for me to want to do dishes rather than focus on potty training because getting dishes done is a completed task in a limited amount of time, where potty training requires much more thought and attention and will be continual for some time.

It's the 2 full baskets of clean laundry that must be folded & put away so we have work clothes or play clothes, knowing that as I'm doing so, there are 3 other loads that should be washed, dried, folded & put away.

It's desperately needing the internet connection at home to get my homework done that is giving us nothing but problems (and NO connectivity despite numerous phone calls to customer service representatives who speak with a very strong accent and can be difficult to understand) and having to run to my in-laws (who don't mind) to take a quiz at 9:00 pm before the quiz deadline. It's needing to read 15 chapters a week and listen to 9+ online lectures in order to prepare for the quiz or test I have to take in 3 days. I REALLY want to be in classes and finish my degree and feel like it's something I'm doing just for me, and yet it just seems to be something else that pulls me further away from my family.

Greg tries to help. He puts dishes away - he has been making coffee in the mornings while we get ready for work - he tries to entertain Claira while I read my chapters (and while she whines for "Mama" regardless of what antics he tries) - he runs laundry through the washer & dryer to GET them into the "clean" baskets - or straightens up the living room or kitchen so I don't have to. But that list of things that must be done just never hits the end...

I think I could even sacrifice Starbucks to pay for a maid service (if I actually spent that much on Starbucks...) I can't tolerate that chaotic clutter like I used to and I'm turning into Monica Geller about the house, only I feel completely helpless about it.

That whole "Proverbs 31 Woman" thing is just something I can't possibly imagine ever attaining, and trying to think about doing so just frustrates me to the point of giving up...

So maybe it's not the whole "I don't wanna be a wife/mom" so much as it is "I don't wanna be the Proverbs 31 Woman"... MAYBE, that's what it boils down to for me...

Long Time, No Write...

So it has been 3 months since I've blogged - been a little busy...

We're now 18 weeks along in our pregnancy. Baby is really starting to move around and make his presence known. No, we don't know for SURE that it's a boy, but our ultrasound is scheduled for March 23, and hopefully he will feel like showing off...

Claira is growing like a weed. She is saying phrases and sentences and is wayyyyyy too smart. We have fun with her, and she is learning how to whine for things, and we are learning how to teach her to ask for things. =) We are trying to prepare her for a sibling as much as we can, and it's going to be fun. She likes to pat or hug or kiss my tummy (or even hit occasionally), and says "Baby" or "My Baby." She tries putting her milk cup to my belly button because we tell her that the baby will drink milk. She'll tilt her head, kinda squint her eyes, and say, "Awwwwww" when we talk about babies or see pictures of babies. She's certainly going to enjoy being a big sister...

Greg has started a new job today - counseling with alcohol & substance abuse. He worked at a place for about 4 weeks as a crisis counselor, but it wasn't to his liking or taste. It also required some on-call time and overnight stays, which after he started and understood how much he'd be gone and how far away he'd be, realized it wasn't something he wanted to do. His new job is a ways away, too, but it's more to his liking, and there is a possibility of it becoming a full-time gig.

I've had some minor ups & downs with the pregnancy - urinary tract infection, which can cause pain, bleeding, even preterm labor - and although it has not been serious, we're just trying to take things a little slower. It's hard to do when we both work, have Claira, and I'm taking online classes, but we're figuring it out. I'm having serious insomnia which is just wearing me out - but the dr gave me a prescription, and I got one night's rest this week, which was totally amazing. I will only use them occasionally, and look forward to knowing those nights of rest are available to me now!

School is great. Other than my math class. Although this last Math section was actually decent and gave me some hope - I took an American History course and got a B. I am now continuing with the Math class, and have added a Humanities course and a Bible course. I'm enjoying them a lot. It's a challenge - finding the time to do it all - but we just got internet at home, and it's going to make things a bit easier to manage. =)

For the most part, we're all doing well, and are just trying to take things one day at a time. Will try to post more often and stay updated...

YAY - IT WAS WORTH IT!!!

I am late in posting this, but CONGRATULATIONS TO GREG for passing his National Counselor's Examination on Monday, 1/8. He is now an official, "professional" therapist! He has sent off for his license from the state, and has had a couple of interviews recently which sound promising.

Yesterday, he received his (beautiful) diploma from Ashland Theological Seminary! Graduation is set for June 2!!!

I am really proud of Greg. It was not easy, and sometimes it was downright awful, but he studied hard and he worked his butt off and HE DID IT!!!

CONGRATULATIONS, Sweetness!!!

Our Holidays

We spent Friday-Sunday with the Baker's and had a nice family get together Friday evening (12/22). We stayed with my brother Dan & his family and it was a really nice, very relaxing time. We enjoyed ourselves a lot and Claira loved playing with her bigger cousins.

We had Christmas breakfast with the Taylor's and it was a really nice time. The kids enjoyed opening their gifts and Claira was into Emma & Kyle's guitars! We got to have a nice nap, but woke up to Claira with a fever.

We were in the emergency room with her Tuesday morning for several hours - the doctor thought maybe it was croup because of her barky-cough, BUT instead, she tested positive for strep throat... I'm wondering if that's what I had the week before, but they didn't take a throat culture then, and still gave me an antibiotic which took care of most of it.

Needless to say, yesterday (Wednesday) was our worst day. I felt HORRIBLE, and although Greg had the day off he was in & out trying to find a toilet to replace our (only) broken one and had an appointment with his counseling supervisor in the afternoon. Claira & I did take a LONG nap in the afternoon and although I had to sleep in the recliner I got to sleep for 5 hours straight for the first time in weeks. The nightly trips to the restroom have been mixed with a very restless Claira for the past several weeks, and I enjoyed the rest. Greg stayed home with us today just to help, and it has helped a lot.

So, Claira is on antibiotics, I'm trying to force fluids with both of us (my sinusitis is lingering) and that with a broken toilet... (which IS being replaced tomorrow morning)...

Needless to say, I am glad we had this week off from work, because i"d have had to call in several days anyway. =) Mixed blessings...

Hope your holidays were happy & healthy.

Christmas Traditions Poll

Rather than post a long drawn-out newsletter(which has mostly been shared on this blog already), I wanted to post a "poll" of sorts and find out what kind of family traditions you enjoyed growing up and what family traditions you are incorporating into your family now.

The day after Thanksgiving we would normally put up our Christmas tree. My dad would disappear after bringing all the boxes in, and the chaotic decorating began. The tree would go up and every knick knack we had would go into a box to be replaced by a Christmas decoration. There were endless boxes and surprises every time we'd decorate and I enjoyed this a lot.

There was always the baking/cooking/candymaking weekend, too. It didn't just happen once, but my mom was an EXPERT at managing about 6 different projects at once. I don't know how she did it, but she would have different pots & pans going, while decorations were going up and Christmas music blared in the background. We always made peanut butter balls, toffee, dipped pretzels, baked and decorated various assortments of cookies. The freezer would be PACKED to the limit until we could put together the gift plates to take to church or give to neighbors, but we always had more than enough to sneak a peanut butter ball or 2 after school with a glass of milk...

On Christmas Eve, after we were older, we could open most if not all of our family gifts to each other, or gifts that had been sent to us. On Christmas morning, we got to open our gifts from "Santa." This was always fun, especially while Dave was still young and we got to be part of keeping Santa alive for him.

As a kid, my favorite part of Christmas was Christmas morning when everybody was (FINALLY!) awake. Mom & Dad let us kids dive into our stockings to keep us entertained and from literally exploding before opening our gifts. But it wasn't my favorite part because of the gifts or stockings overflowing with goodies.

First, my dad would read Luke 2:1-33. (Okay, first, he would ask if our beds were made - he just LOVED to torture us - and we'd have to go make our bed if they weren't made already...) Whenever my dad would read this passage - even when I was young, it would make me cry (and it still does). It was a moment of simplicity when the real meaning of Christmas Day was acknowledged and fully realized. I always wondered about Mary & Joseph and how they must have felt at the birth of Jesus. Then, we would sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, and that would start our celebration.

We're still early into our family Christmases, but Greg & I are beginning to talk about the things we'd like to do so our children can have those traditions & memories of the holidays when they grow up.

Whatever you plan to do for Christmas this year, wherever you plan to go, and whoever you will be with, the most important thing to remember is that Christmas is about Jesus Christ - Emmanuel, God with us.

What would you say are your favorite family traditions? Are there any you plan to incorporate into your own family?

My Husband Deserves a Parade

My husband really deserves a parade. Since he finished his classes last week (Thank you, Jesus!!!), he has been SOOOOOOOO amazing at home. He has actually taken over some household chores and seems to have made them his own! (Feel the drums pounding???)

Saturday morning he was required to work overtime in Columbus, and Claira & I were left to our own devices. For the most part, we did well, but as the day wore on, we began to butt heads. Claira had not been sleeping through the night all week and ALL of us were exhausted. When Greg got home after being gone about 8 hours, Claira & I were being a bit cranky with each other and Greg asked how he could help. I don't remember what I said, but the next thing I heard was, "Well, why don't you go take a nap and I'll take care of Claira." WOW - what magical words to my sleep deprived ears. I could have cried right there on the spot, but I didn't. I just took myself up to bed and slept. It felt SO good. When I got up, Greg said he was making dinner - and despite the fact that we simply didn't like the fish (through no fault of Greg's), it was REALLY nice! (Yep, I'm hearing the brass section now! GO TUBA!)

Sunday morning I wasn't feeling so hot - I've got a yukky cough - and Greg helped with Claira and with me - put dishes away, and made supper AGAIN that night!!! We managed to get our Christmas tree up (despite Claira's help) and it looks really pretty in our living room. (Yep, I can see the batons twirling and the colorguards' flags flying now!)

He told me I can't clean the bathroom anymore (cuz of the cleaner fumes) and that he would do it. Said he would help with laundry, too. (Wow, those trumpets are LOUD!!!)

He has been so sweet & attentive - I already feel very spoiled, and had to brag on him!!! (Yeah, no scantily clad cheerleaders for this band - I'll take care of that part...)

Positive News!!!

Claira will be a big sister next year - we're due in August again. =)

Santa Claus IS Real!

I got this in an email from my mom with no credits or publishing info, but had to post it here today!

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus,"she jeered. "Even dummies know that!" My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandmaalways told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous"cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" She snorted...."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money,"she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car. " Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, and the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's second grade class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that BobbyDecker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby reallyneeded a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas. That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible). Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby. Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.

That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

May you always have LOVE to share. And may you always believe in themagic of Santa Claus.

Happy Birthday Sweetness!

Today is my handsome Hubby's 37th birthday. When I woke him up this morning and said, "Happy Birthday," he said "I'm 28 today." Yes, he is living in denial...

His mom will make his traditional banana pudding today. As much as Greg LOVES cake (and I mean the bakery kind with the sugary icing), for his birthday, he always wants banana pudding, and his mom makes it from scratch. I believe it was Mommy Reynolds' recipe, and now his mom makes it every year. It is SO good - we're all looking forward to that tonight... His mom has learned to make a batch just for Greg and a batch for everybody else...

I'm giving him a cologne sampler - it's what he asked for, and in the end, I get to reap some of the benefits. =) I hope he has a great day and enjoys his day off (even though he IS running errands today).

I love you, Sweetie. I'm glad we are married. It's a happy start to our week of celebration!!!

Thoughts for the Day

If you've ever seen the movie, "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," you'll know that it's about enduring friendships. It is also about a mother-daughter relationship and all of its ups & downs. I watched it recently, and have to admit that at moments in my life I could relate to both Vivi and Siddalee Walker...

On one hand, I feel like I'm "cracking up" like Vivi did when she was younger. The moment all of the kids were vomiting and had diarrhea and she stepped in the mess - I can almost relate to that only on a much smaller scale. On the other hand, there are issues in my life, from my childhood, that I am dealing with and I feel like I could write a book...

In one of the final moments of the film, a conversation takes place between Vivi & Sidda that just really speaks volumes to me about the relationship between a mother & daughter...

Vivi: I've been thinking about what I'd sayto you, should we ever speak again. I thought of all the mean things that'dmake you feel guilty. You know me. I take a problem and chew on it until all the flavor's gone... ...and then I stick it in my hair. And then it dawned on me.
All those years...
...that I prayed...
...that I begged on my handsand knees...
...for God to make me more, give me more...
...make me better...
...make me stronger...
...make me saner...
...make all my dreams come true...
I finally got an answer.
Sidda: What?
V: You.
Right there in one person,all I'd ever wanted to be or do.
And there you are.
You came right through me...
...and I never even realized.
I hate it when it's right in front ofyour face and you miss it. Don't you?
(minor conversation continues)
There's one more thing I want to ask.
Then you go dance until your socks melt.
Okay. But I want you to be totally honest.
S: Are you sure?
V: - Yes.
S:- Okay.
V: Do I look like I've gained weight?
S: No. Actually,I think you may be too thin.
V: God love you, darling.

Mini-Me-Queen-Bee

Claira, Daddy & Papa Joe
Sittin on the porch with Papa
Sun's just a tad too bright
Mmmm - reaping the rewards 

Monday Morning

Well, it was certainly a Monday morning at my house this morning... The time change always rattles me a little and shakes me out of my normal sleeping, and it had the same effect on Claira. Normally, after Greg leaves for work, I have about 30 minutes to get as much of my "getting ready for work" done before Claira wakes up. I like to be able to be dressed and only have to blow dry my hair once she's awake, because it gives us a few minutes to cuddle and play before we have to race out the door. I have time to make a bottle and we can lay together in my bed and enjoy a few minutes of just us.

This morning, however, was different. She was up before I even got out of bed, which is good for Greg because he gets to see her. That's always good for them. Greg needed to borrow my ATM card today because his replacement card is on the way and his other one had been deactivated. I very grumpily yanked it out of my wallet and nearly threw it at him, knowing that by doing so, I'd have to forego the coffee at Speedway that I really, really, really wanted this morning. But it was either him ending up on the side of the road without gas, or my going without coffee...

So, to get ready I put Claira in the bathroom with me and showered quickly and got dressed. She is very curious and likes to empty things - if a basket is full of lotions and body sprays, she likes to empty it. Or the trash, which was mostly empty today so I didn't have to worry about it. It's much easier keeping her in the bathroom with me and mopt up the water off the floor from her pulling the shower curtain back, than hearing her work herself up into a monster crying fit that takes 10 minutes to calm her down...

I got her dressed and got my hair dried and was doing my scrunching-spritzing thing with my head hanging upside down and when I popped up, she'd found the coffee cup on the back of the toilet that I'd "lost" yesterday morning and hadn't finished drinking. All over her - all over the closed toilet. So, I changed her clothes, which she did NOT want to do, grabbed a towel and was mopping up the bathroom when I realized how quiet it was and I didn't see Claira. So I got into the hall to realize her bedroom door was open (and NOT closed as I honestly, truly thought it was) and she was playing in the vaporizer on the floor... (This is why she isn't allowed to play in her bedroom alone because of the fan and vaporizer that are on her floor...) So I dried her hands and cried really hard for a couple of minutes because by that time, I was worn out and cranky and it was all just a little too much for me today (PMS does NOT help the situation). So I got Claira into her coat despite her crying and fighting me - again - got my stuff and got her to Mama & Papa Taylor's. Whew!!!

I feel guilty whenever I drop her off and walk out of their house and breathe a sigh of relief... I feel like I'm a terrible mother for feeling that sense of relief that for even just a few hours I don't have to personally safeguard Claira's happiness and well-being... Today, I didn't feel so guilty...

So, the sun was shining brightly this morning and I took a more scenic route to work and it was really peaceful. Greg called and we chatted for a few minutes and it was really pleasant. And I got to work and opened my bottled key lime sparkling water beverage, which promptly exploded all over my desk... AND NO COFFEE!!!

Seriously, I could be a sitcom. The exploding poopy diapers I have had to change at home and abroad, the severe caffeine withdrawals and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde mood changes that come with PMS, the identity crisis I suffer on occasion when being a good "wife" or "mom" feels impossible to attain, the giant attack spiders living in my basement. How about the peeing into a 44 0z cup in the back of a little airplane that had no bathroom and was copiloted by a Tom-Cruise-Top-Gun lookalike? If only I could laugh at myself while these things were happening. If only I could be flipping channels tonight at home and run across a sitcom showing MY life long after I've lived it - I could laugh at myself then. But today, I'm not laughing so much...

Real Beauty

Today is my niece, Ashtyn's, 12th Birthday!!! I plan to call her tonight and wish her a happy one. I can't believe she is 12 - which inevitably means I am getting older... I talked with her one night last week for a few minutes and had this really fun "girly" conversation and I enjoyed it. I enjoy the time I get to spend with her. She is a sweet, funny, lovely, mature girl (I just couldn't bear to type "young lady" just yet - she's growing WAY too fast) and she & Claira really enjoy each other, too. (This is an old picture of Ashtyn & Claira, but it's one of my favorites...)



I sent an e-card to her today from a "Campaign for Real Beauty" website sponsored by Dove. Ashtyn is beautiful. She has incredible hair (naturally curly) and it is thick and healthy and she has beautiful eyes that are a remarkable color (can't quite describe them, in fact). She's got these freckles sprinkled on her cheeks that just "fit" her and she often wears her hair back with a bandana which is SOOOOO cute.

Dove website: http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/

My friend, Jenna, sent a link to me showing the rapid transformation of a model from the Dove website. It showed clear pictures of the model before & after makeup, as well as the "tricks" that were applied to her finished photo for the final ad. Wow - that put things into perspective.

It's a hard world to grow up in. There's enough pressure from the outside world to be attractive. Everyone (men included) is supposed to "Look" a certain way to be considered "attractive" but we all know that while the outside might look "perfect", it really does matter how a person looks on the inside. There is also that pressure on the inside. That ugly voice that starts, at some unnamed point along the way, that says I'm not worthy or attractive.

I can remember ALWAYS wanting to be different. Didn't matter how I looked, I just wanted to look different, which in my thinking meant "better." I still feel like that sometimes and have to fight off that sneering voice in my head. What a terribly unhealthy thing for me to do to myself. The truth is that weight matters only in relation to health. And even what some would describe as "healthy" requires unhealthy habits or behaviors to get there... I can remember a time in my life when I wasn't eating. I was emotionally stressed and lost my appetite and also rapidly lost significant weight. When people started commenting on how thin I was getting, I was THRILLED that people noticed and I thought it was a good thing. NOT A GOOD THING!!!

Changing the voice in my head to talk more kindly to myself about how I look is not easy, and anybody who deals with self-esteem issues knows this. But it's worth doing. What I think of myself affects every relationship I have. What I believe about myself guides my connection to others. It is important that I understand and accept that I am beautiful for who I am, and not what I am. I hope Ashtyn can grow up knowing that about herself. And I hope I can help Claira hear that kinder, loving voice inside herself above the clamor of society demanding that she be "perfect" in this imperfect world.

School Days

So - I'm official. Financial Aid paperwork has been completed. I have registered for courses. Text books are on their way to me. Courses begin the week of January 1. I am really excited and looking forward to getting started!

Because I'm taking distance learning program, the courses break down differently. I'll be taking a History and Math course for 8 weeks beginning 1/1, then I take a Bible and Humanities course for 8 weeks beginning 2/26. I like the idea of being "full time" but only having to concentrate on 2 courses at a time. I may be taking a regular semester course at Ashland University during the spring semester, but Greg & I are talking through that idea... Yay!!!

I ended up transferring in 37.3 credits. Don't ask me how I got 3.3 credits anywhere, but it happened, and I'll take it thank you very much! Many transferred in as general electives, but some counted toward general ed & major requirements.

From start to finish, this has been "a God thing." I began searching out colleges out of curiousity and every step I took in this direction was just laid out for me. I struggled SO MUCH when I was in school before because I didn't know what direction I was going, but this has all fallen into place without any effort on my part. I feel like this is something for me to FINISH, but also feel like it's taking me to a different chapter in my life and I'm very excited!!!

I just love kids!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember anymore. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough"

D I (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon this Mom will never forget..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but, at that moment, my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Mondays are hard

Mondays are hard. I feel like my weekends FLY right on by and my "To Do" list just continues to grow... Some weekends I really push myself to "accomplish" something (anything) and some weekends I am just grateful for the things I can get taken care of...

So, the chickens are gone. I miss hearing the roosters. There were 16 eggs (only 2 of which appeared to be fertile), and the setting hen had one under her wing, so that was kinda sad for us. But they've gone to a farm setting and friend of my parents', so we'll be able to see them again when we visit my parents.

Claira is learning a few signs. My dad taught her "More" the few days he spent with us last week, and she's added "eat" and "poopy." (Yes, this IS a mommy blog. Deal with it.) I had been showing her some signs for awhile but she didnt' seem interested and began saying many words so I stopped. But when dad showed her the sign for "more" and she got a celebratory reaction, she was motivated to use the sign... She is learning "please" right now and used it correctly a few times yesterday. These are big steps - she can say many words, but some she either can't or won't, and using the signs is helpful to all of us. She's been spontaneously using them, and it has been fun. She is walking EVERYWHERE and rarely crawls anymore. She has discovered the kitchen cabinets & drawers, which have been left alone (for the most part) until she's started walking more. So, latches are being installed... She seems to prefer the big spoons & whisks most often... Maybe she'll be a chef. =)

Yes, fall is here. We had snow the other day. It looked like a blizzard outside. Melted when it hit the ground, but it was SO pretty. On one side of the building I looked out and saw "blizzard" and blue skies - that was very interesting. We're thankful we didn't get the 2 feet of snow that Buffalo, NY saw - but the cold weather is certainly on its way...

I had thought about commenting in great detail on the shootings at the Pennsylvania schoolhouse, but am going to remain brief on that. Suffice it to say that the horror mankind can afflict on one another is breathtaking sometimes, but in a fallen world it is to be expected... I think about what if that was Claira and how would I react, and immediately I have to surrender her to the Lord's care again because she belongs to Him. I do not say that flippantly or nonchalantly or without feeling. I can only imagine how those mothers felt and the imagining is excruciating enough...

Good News Update

So, in the process of applying to Liberty University, a lot of really great things have happened. My financial aid paperwork is still under review, but I found out on Friday that 31 credit hours transferred from my courses I took in 1991-1992 at BBC! Two of them are Psych courses (my major) and 1 is a required English course. The others are all electives, which is just fine by me.

I just found out at lunchtime that the Chemistry class I took right after high school (in 1988 - and for those of you who are reading this that were born AFTER 1988, NO AGE WISECRACKS, please!) also transferred in 3 credits for a required science class! Woohoo!!! I've got another English Comp class I took just a few years ago that I hope will transfer in for the other required English course. It's getting exciting!!!

Good news or Bad news first???

I always prefer the bad news first and the good news last so there is at LEAST a chance for swift recovery from the depths of despair...

BAD NEWS:
Has anyone seen "The Money Pit?" Okay - our house is a mini-version of that... My dad came down Sunday afternoon to spend a couple of nights helping Greg fix a leak in our basement - WHICH of course has turned into digging a 5-6 foot trench in the front of our house and the discovery of 2 leaks outside, resulting in mold problems on the inside... It is being fixed - but it will take some time to get the inside finished and the mold removed. Which will HELP us in the long run (allergies, etc.) but is a real PAIN for the guys to have to deal with.

GOOD NEWS:
Yesterday was a GORGEOUS day to get started on the project and allowed for a lot of work to be done. The concrete had a chance to dry out from the very wet-clay-dirt we have and they're working to patch it today. Also, the toilet seat was fixed and THAT is a blessing...

BAD NEWS:
Neighbor (someone who has caused some problems for Greg and his brother, Kevin before) complained about our rooster crowing and we have to get rid of all of the chickens. UGH! JUST after we find that a hen is setting on 8 eggs. Greg is really upset and I'm really sad. I don't spend much time around them, but I have actually become accustomed to and welcome the rooster crows in the mornings. Really. I enjoy them. I enjoyed the prospects of chicks and seeing what our little "flock" might produce...

GOOD NEWS:
We're giving them to one of my dad's friends who has a farm & land and other animals. We'll be able to see them again and find out just what kind of offspring will come from a splash silkie pullet (http://www.americansilkiebantamclub.org/silkiephotos-frame.htm - click on "Spoyld Silkies" to the left and you'll see a good shot of one in the middle 2nd row) and a red game cockerel (http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Valley/5490/animals/rooster7.jpg). We'll have to wait and see what happens. The eggs may not survive the transfer, but if they do, I hope to take some pictures of the results. We will just wait until we have some land and then we'll have chickens to our heart's content!!!

GREAT NEWS:
Greg found my camera - it had fallen from the diaper bag (where I was sure I had put it) into a case of bottled water that we'd left in the car for a week. We have a filter pitcher, but decided to put the bottled water in the fridge to chill before my dad got here and they got to work. TA-DA!!! I was VERY happy to see it and immediately began taking pics of Claira (which I don't have with me today, but will update soon!)

Blogger Moms

I've done some snooping around to see other blogs, just cuz I'm curious (aka Nosy) like that. I read one this morning that I could have almost written a few years ago. Single gal, in a job - no boyfriend of note, no kids. Sounds as if she has a good career and a fun one, at that. She was on a rant about a table of "mommies" who sat near her at a local bistro and ALL they could talk about were their children (can you imagine!) In essence, she was pretty darn angry and hugely critical of this conversation she overheard. Didn't these women have anything better to talk about? Didn't they have lives with value, meaning, & purpose outside their children? Could they not discuss something more lofty & high-minded and leave the "kiddie" talk for the soccer or ballet sidelines?

I am reminded of a time in my life several years ago - I was a single gal - with a good job - no boyfriend of note - no kids. And all of a sudden there was a MASS explosion of pregnancies & babies in the small office where I worked. 30+ employees, mostly female. We heard from one gal that she was expecting - and oh, wasn't that COOL! Wisps of pink & blue baby dust settled around the office...

Then, there was an unexpected announcement of a good friend who was pregnant - and found out that she was expecting twin girls! Yay - more pink baby dust!!!

And then, the very shocking announcement by a coworker who went to the emergency room with what we thought might be appendicitis, only to discover that she was pregnant with TRIPLETS. Nobody could believe her when she came back from the ER - everyone was in shock. She wasn't expecting to have babies, and here she is pregnant with triplets!!! (Boys - identical, red-headed boys!) Wow - what a crazy thing - I think I started choking on the baby dust! Maybe we should have stopped drinking the water...

Another coworker, who was trying to conceive for some time, was able to announce that she was pregnant - and later found out - with fraternal twins. (Okay - what are the odds? Any mathematicians out there?)

This was over a period of about 18 months. We're talking baby showers galore! How exciting for them. And frankly, it became quite expensive for me... Being the social butterfly I am, I knew almost all of these women pretty well, and loving babies so (and WANTING babies so) I could not possibly have avoided the baby showers... =)

So the babies began coming. Meanwhile, I started taking that look at my life and wondering what the heck was so valuable about a job that really just pushed paper. Yes, I occasionally processed health claims for people who had been quite ill and paid the checks to the hospital & physicians & radiologists & ambulances & home care nurses so the patients would not be hounded by collection agencies. I sometimes talked with employers, some of whom were genuinely concerned about their sick employees, and also about their bottom line and commiserated about the cost of health care and how grateful I could be that I had my health... But what was I doing that was going to matter in 10 years? 5 years? 6 months?

And the babies kept coming. SO sweet - so lovely - so beautiful... And I enjoyed holding each one and watching some of them grow. It eventually ended with the very FIRST mom telling us she was expecting again and having the LAST baby in this group!

Having come this far, where I am now a wife & mother, I understand a different take on life. What I do is not nearly as important as who I am. And, yes, I am in fact Greg's wife, and Claira's mom. That is part of who I am, but not ALL that I am. Some days it feels that all I am is a housekeeper or a poopy-diaper changer (you don't even WANT to know...) or a mediocre cook. But that's not WHO I am, it's just some of the things I do. And when others hear me talk about my family, especially my daughter, maybe sometimes they forget and think that all I am is a mom.

Who I am is a wife & mom. A daughter & sister. An aunt. A friend. A creative soul who doesn't give herself nearly enough credit for her accomplishments. Someone who prefers perfectionism to a fault, and is learning to relax & let go (slowly, but learning!) I am someone who gets goosebumps when I hear someone sing well The National Anthem. Who delights in holding a brand new baby (even someone else's) just simply for the joy of new life and the potential I can actually feel in my arms. Who cries at girly movies and even girly commercials. (sigh). Who shoots off at the mouth far too fast and far too often, but can still manage to stay in other's good graces... Who is way more emotional now, than ever. Who loves music, nature, beauty. Who really does like to play with makeup & haircolor & fingernail polish and all those "foofy" things. Who understands that while what I spend doing 8 hours a day at the job I love is valuable and important work, it is NOT nearly as important as the value of my husband & daughter, or my parents, or my brothers & their families, or extended family or good friends. I am someone who complains about having to do yet another load of dishes or another load of laundry, but who would rather have the dishes & laundry to do than to not have either my husband or daughter.

Isn't it possible that the four mommies this single gal overheard, had actually not seen each other in ages because they had been doing what a mom does? Is it possible that this was the first time the mommies had had a break from DOING what mommies do, and could finally revel in BEING a mommy and talking about the people in their lives that matter MOST to them? Isn't it possible that in the very end, in the very last breath that each person takes, the thought is NOT of "I wish I could still keep working at my job" but rather "I wish I could have more time with my family..." And isn't that a good thing?