This blog has a new home:
http://thequeenmommy.wordpress.com/
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
Shopping with a Toddler
Yes, it finally happened - the dreaded Temper-tantrum-throwing-Toddler while trying to shop for Christmas presents... Princess CaaaLalla decided that she wanted to touch everything and when the King told her to stop and moved her away from the shelves, she pitched a royal fit. Screaming, kicking, crying - pushing him away - moving his hands off the cart. For several minutes. So we switched carts - Princess KT was sleeping for the most part - and the King looked like he was at his wits end.
Usually, the Queen does not put up with much crap. Not to say that the King does, but this Queen draws the line and appropriate consequences follow quickly. However, this time, I was the much more patient one, and when she tried to push my hands away, I took a death grip on the cart. (Perhaps the Zoloft is magical?) In the middle of her screaming fit, she started saying "Potty, mommy" and we raced to the bathroom, where she proceeds to tell me, "You first, mommy" and then tries to open the door as I'm using the facilities... Needless to say, she did NOT really need to go potty (but we won't tempt fate), and when she got back into the cart, she began the screaming/crying/kicking again.
So, the King took her to the carriage and I paid for the few things we managed to buy. On the way home, she fell asleep... We had planned to have a big Christmas shopping day, but that was not to be... Oh well, we shall try again - perhaps right after a nap and dinner...
Usually, the Queen does not put up with much crap. Not to say that the King does, but this Queen draws the line and appropriate consequences follow quickly. However, this time, I was the much more patient one, and when she tried to push my hands away, I took a death grip on the cart. (Perhaps the Zoloft is magical?) In the middle of her screaming fit, she started saying "Potty, mommy" and we raced to the bathroom, where she proceeds to tell me, "You first, mommy" and then tries to open the door as I'm using the facilities... Needless to say, she did NOT really need to go potty (but we won't tempt fate), and when she got back into the cart, she began the screaming/crying/kicking again.
So, the King took her to the carriage and I paid for the few things we managed to buy. On the way home, she fell asleep... We had planned to have a big Christmas shopping day, but that was not to be... Oh well, we shall try again - perhaps right after a nap and dinner...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Need to Powder My Nose
I decided after visiting many mommy blogs recently that my blog needed a bit of an update. I started making the update yesterday, but officially retitled the blog and renamed the "characters" in my life...
The King - is of course, my handsome, hottie husband. (wolf whistle.) Yowza!
Princess CaaaLalla is our oldest, curly haired diva.
Princess KT is our little one, and baby sister diva.
I, as I have always been, am the Queen. (yes, it is a little presumptive - but HEY, it's my blog!)
I hope to figure out how to add some variety and sparkle to the place and hope you'll be back to visit!!!
The King - is of course, my handsome, hottie husband. (wolf whistle.) Yowza!
Princess CaaaLalla is our oldest, curly haired diva.
Princess KT is our little one, and baby sister diva.
I, as I have always been, am the Queen. (yes, it is a little presumptive - but HEY, it's my blog!)
I hope to figure out how to add some variety and sparkle to the place and hope you'll be back to visit!!!
The Queendom
So, as you can see in the pictures posted in my previous blog, the princesses are growing up quickly!
Princess KT is really coming into her own, and has the sweetest smiles to give. She LOVES to cuddle and be cuddled. She just rolled over for the first time this week - she's starting to get mobile, which will be a LOT of fun... She keeps her eyes on her big sister all the time, and any time they interact, she's all smiles & squeals. She reaches out for our faces now and when we kiss on her, she puts her mouth on our cheeks. She's drooling bucket loads every day and we expect to start seeing her first teeth soon.
Princess CaaaLalla is potty training herself - just as we expected her to do. I used the last diaper with her over the weekend, and we switched to pull-ups. Now, granted, I am allowing for future setbacks & accidents, but all of a sudden yesterday, she decided that she would go potty for her Mama and wore "big girl panties" all day yesterday without having ONE accident. Her biggest motivators are getting to wear her pink light velour nightgown with silvery suns, moons, & stars all over it, or some sparkly purple mary-janes. If she can wear those, she'll go potty like a big girl in a heartbeat! Daddy also lights a candle and lets her blow it out sometimes which gives her a big charge - WHATEVER IT TAKES!!! So, she is making progress and we're really excited for her!
The King & I have had some really nice, sweet moments together lately. It has been really memorable. We're approaching our 4th anniversary already - and I think parenting has really started forging us into a team. It's really great to have someone I can talk to about anything - who listens and cares - and takes to heart what I share, what I need, what I want. He's really wonderful. I can be my ol' ugly self some days and he still loves me. He keeps telling me I'm a good mommy, and especially these days, that means a lot. I am starting to feel more settled in myself again, and he really lets me explore my thoughts & feelings in a manner that lets me find my way. I appreciate that so much about him. We laugh a lot together and it's good for my soul. He's a great daddy and I just love watching his little princess girls melt him into a giant puddle. He denies it, but only half-heartedly... He's a really good husband, too, and I'm grateful for every moment we've had together - every single one of them. I can't imagine a better teammate or partner for life.
It's good to be the Queen!
Princess KT is really coming into her own, and has the sweetest smiles to give. She LOVES to cuddle and be cuddled. She just rolled over for the first time this week - she's starting to get mobile, which will be a LOT of fun... She keeps her eyes on her big sister all the time, and any time they interact, she's all smiles & squeals. She reaches out for our faces now and when we kiss on her, she puts her mouth on our cheeks. She's drooling bucket loads every day and we expect to start seeing her first teeth soon.
Princess CaaaLalla is potty training herself - just as we expected her to do. I used the last diaper with her over the weekend, and we switched to pull-ups. Now, granted, I am allowing for future setbacks & accidents, but all of a sudden yesterday, she decided that she would go potty for her Mama and wore "big girl panties" all day yesterday without having ONE accident. Her biggest motivators are getting to wear her pink light velour nightgown with silvery suns, moons, & stars all over it, or some sparkly purple mary-janes. If she can wear those, she'll go potty like a big girl in a heartbeat! Daddy also lights a candle and lets her blow it out sometimes which gives her a big charge - WHATEVER IT TAKES!!! So, she is making progress and we're really excited for her!
The King & I have had some really nice, sweet moments together lately. It has been really memorable. We're approaching our 4th anniversary already - and I think parenting has really started forging us into a team. It's really great to have someone I can talk to about anything - who listens and cares - and takes to heart what I share, what I need, what I want. He's really wonderful. I can be my ol' ugly self some days and he still loves me. He keeps telling me I'm a good mommy, and especially these days, that means a lot. I am starting to feel more settled in myself again, and he really lets me explore my thoughts & feelings in a manner that lets me find my way. I appreciate that so much about him. We laugh a lot together and it's good for my soul. He's a great daddy and I just love watching his little princess girls melt him into a giant puddle. He denies it, but only half-heartedly... He's a really good husband, too, and I'm grateful for every moment we've had together - every single one of them. I can't imagine a better teammate or partner for life.
It's good to be the Queen!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Notes from the Queen Mother
I love Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving was really wonderful because I had extra time with the King and our two lovely Princesses.
Princess "Caaaa-lalla" (which is how SHE says her name while struggling to pronounce her L's clearly) is growing up way too quickly. She is such a bright, empathetic, loving, funny child - I'm in awe that she came through me. She "lubs" her baby sister so much and will stroke her cheek and say, "Awww, cute!" She has even started helping (offering to) take dishes to the sink after dinner is over. Where the heck did she learn that? She will also take your "order" with a notepad & pencil, pretending to be a waitress, and always asks first if you want "cole slaw" because that is HER favorite thing to order. She begs me to "Play, Mommy" and lays on the floor so I will tickle her or blow Zrbbtts on her belly. Every morning she wakes up with a "busted wig" as her daddy calls it, and even though taming her curls is not her favorite thing, she does love to wear dresses, " 'ipstick" and pretty shoes. Her current request for Christmas: a dress. Anything else? Shoes. My girly girl...
Princess KT is growing, too. She is now 26.5" long and weighs 15 lbs 5 oz. She smiles almost all the time now - switching her formula has made a big difference! She loves her bottle time and being cuddled. She loves being rocked to sleep, and has even started "singing" because her Mama sings her to sleep... She is just starting to eat cereal, but HATED the plain rice cereal, so we add sweet potatoes (big sister's favorite) and she is figuring out how to get it swallowed... Once she gets the swallowing thing figured out, she actually swings her arms, shakes her legs and chases after the spoon for more! These first few feedings are an experience - and of course, we've already had a monster sneeze right AFTER she got a nummy mouthful... This little Princess turns her head at the sound of basketball or football on TV. Kind Daddy may have his star athlete in this one...
The King - well, he's been really wonderful. He has been so supportive of me and so helpful and even turned down some job offers that would have possibly meant more money, but would have definitely meant more time away from home. He has been able to change his job requirements at work, too, which means HE'S happier at work, and which means more time at home with us. He decided that with my PPD and two small kids, we need him at home more - and he's right.
The holidays were really very sweet for me because of the extra time I got with my husband & girls. I loved the time we had with our extended families, but to be honest, having time with my own family was really special and I enjoyed it. There are so many beautiful moments I could recount here, but it would take 3 days to read it all and people would lose interest...
Suffice it to say that I feel like my dream of being a wife & mom has really come true, and I'm not even medicated today... =)
Princess "Caaaa-lalla" (which is how SHE says her name while struggling to pronounce her L's clearly) is growing up way too quickly. She is such a bright, empathetic, loving, funny child - I'm in awe that she came through me. She "lubs" her baby sister so much and will stroke her cheek and say, "Awww, cute!" She has even started helping (offering to) take dishes to the sink after dinner is over. Where the heck did she learn that? She will also take your "order" with a notepad & pencil, pretending to be a waitress, and always asks first if you want "cole slaw" because that is HER favorite thing to order. She begs me to "Play, Mommy" and lays on the floor so I will tickle her or blow Zrbbtts on her belly. Every morning she wakes up with a "busted wig" as her daddy calls it, and even though taming her curls is not her favorite thing, she does love to wear dresses, " 'ipstick" and pretty shoes. Her current request for Christmas: a dress. Anything else? Shoes. My girly girl...
Princess KT is growing, too. She is now 26.5" long and weighs 15 lbs 5 oz. She smiles almost all the time now - switching her formula has made a big difference! She loves her bottle time and being cuddled. She loves being rocked to sleep, and has even started "singing" because her Mama sings her to sleep... She is just starting to eat cereal, but HATED the plain rice cereal, so we add sweet potatoes (big sister's favorite) and she is figuring out how to get it swallowed... Once she gets the swallowing thing figured out, she actually swings her arms, shakes her legs and chases after the spoon for more! These first few feedings are an experience - and of course, we've already had a monster sneeze right AFTER she got a nummy mouthful... This little Princess turns her head at the sound of basketball or football on TV. Kind Daddy may have his star athlete in this one...
The King - well, he's been really wonderful. He has been so supportive of me and so helpful and even turned down some job offers that would have possibly meant more money, but would have definitely meant more time away from home. He has been able to change his job requirements at work, too, which means HE'S happier at work, and which means more time at home with us. He decided that with my PPD and two small kids, we need him at home more - and he's right.
The holidays were really very sweet for me because of the extra time I got with my husband & girls. I loved the time we had with our extended families, but to be honest, having time with my own family was really special and I enjoyed it. There are so many beautiful moments I could recount here, but it would take 3 days to read it all and people would lose interest...
Suffice it to say that I feel like my dream of being a wife & mom has really come true, and I'm not even medicated today... =)
Holidays with the Family
I just have to write about the lovely time I had with my family last week. We were able to visit with both sides of the family, but I want to write about the time we had together - just the 4 of us.
I took Wednesday off - Princess KT had to get shots & had a dr appt. Princess "Caaa-lalla" (how she says her name while trying to pronounce her L's correctly) only had to get a flu shot, and relaxed enough to enjoy the nurse "tickling" her baby sister (after crying that they were going to "hurt" her.)
I so enjoy my extra time with the girls - it is fun to wake up at will and enjoy some morning time with each of them. Princess C is so happy when she's not rushed in the mornings, and Princess KT wakes up almost every morning smiling...
I took Wednesday off - Princess KT had to get shots & had a dr appt. Princess "Caaa-lalla" (how she says her name while trying to pronounce her L's correctly) only had to get a flu shot, and relaxed enough to enjoy the nurse "tickling" her baby sister (after crying that they were going to "hurt" her.)
I so enjoy my extra time with the girls - it is fun to wake up at will and enjoy some morning time with each of them. Princess C is so happy when she's not rushed in the mornings, and Princess KT wakes up almost every morning smiling...
Monday, November 12, 2007
Good Enough
The fog of fatigue has slowly lifted as I've been able to have time to sleep, and KT has gradually started to sleep through the night. Yay! What a lovely feeling to not be so fatigued! And to feel rested mentally & physically has been wonderful. I don't feel like a zombie anymore.
I think the "fog" was protecting me somewhat, though, from feeling depressed. After talking with my OB/GYN during my pregnancy with KT, we were both pretty sure I had postpartum depression after having CaaaLalla. It took several months to really set in, and really only seemed to start after I'd returned to work and tried to adjust to a very full schedule. KT is four months old, and as I have felt more rested, I've become more aware of how behind I'd fallen in housework and how working full-time and taking online classes really fights with my "mommy" time. I asked for and had a LOT of help during my maternity leave, and even since then, but at some point I tell myself, I have to pick up and start taking care of myself & my family, right?
So, to take care of me, I called my OB last week and got a script for an antidepressant, because I was starting to mentally and emotionally detach from my life and when I realized it - Thank you God for letting me realize it - I knew I needed help. I'm on a low dose, and am starting to feel some relief already - some calming, a little less "pressure" than I was feeling before. I am a bit tired, which is a side effect, but not completely fatigued, so I'm content with things so far.
As full as my schedule is concerned- my classes are really rewarding and interesting and challenging. I get some personal satisfaction from that and when I can get B's - I'm quite happy with that. My job is necessary, but also beneficial and I enjoy what I do a lot. It's the household "stuff" that really knocks me down. I am learning (slowly) to let "good enough" be GOOD ENOUGH, but has always been hard for me to swallow.
I grew up in a very organized, very neat, very clean household. There were lists of chores and they all got done. Really. At any given moment (except when decorating for Christmas), anyone could walk into our house and it would be nearly spotless. I don't know how my mom had the energy to manage it. I don't have the energy, and even when she's helped me at my house, I move like a turtle to her rabbit's pace. I was a clutterbug and, if allowed, I was messy! I left empty cups in the living room, and shoes under the coffee tables. I would leave piles of papers or books or whatever - anywhere I could. Not for long - but it was my nature to put something down and leave it there collecting dust until I needed it again. That has not changed.
Fast forward 20 years or so, where I married a clutter bug and we now have a 2 year old and a 3 month old which, of course, require much gear and equipment and diapers and baby wipes and toys and books - and there is just no room for anyTHING let alone for anyONE sometimes! I have tried a multitude of organizational products and methods. I have done positive affirmations. I have beat myself up for failing. I have gone through our house like a tornado and thrown boxes and bags of things away. I have spent entire weekends focusing on the way my house looks, and have not enjoyed time with my girls. THAT is not satisfying. I get to cross things off my "list," but when it comes down to it, I've lost time with my husband and my girls.
So I have to learn to rethink my "List" for my life and what is important. I have to change the way I think about what is GOOD ENOUGH for my family and not what is PERFECT. Perfectionism is a disease - it is a really horrible mental and emotional trap - that disables and destroys and dysfunctionalizes (new word). I do this to myself. I do this to my family. I lose sight of what is lifelong and what REALLY matters, and get caught up in the trappings of maintaining some appearance that takes too much energy and too much time from my LIFE to keep up with.
So, I will wash my dishes (always needing clean bottles), I will do my laundry (going to work naked might NOT get me a raise), I will sweep & vacuum my floors (because God only knows what CaaaLalla WON'T put in her mouth), and I will clean my bathroom (because otherwise it's just GROSS). The rest of it may or may not get done - ever - and that will just have to be GOOD ENOUGH!
I think the "fog" was protecting me somewhat, though, from feeling depressed. After talking with my OB/GYN during my pregnancy with KT, we were both pretty sure I had postpartum depression after having CaaaLalla. It took several months to really set in, and really only seemed to start after I'd returned to work and tried to adjust to a very full schedule. KT is four months old, and as I have felt more rested, I've become more aware of how behind I'd fallen in housework and how working full-time and taking online classes really fights with my "mommy" time. I asked for and had a LOT of help during my maternity leave, and even since then, but at some point I tell myself, I have to pick up and start taking care of myself & my family, right?
So, to take care of me, I called my OB last week and got a script for an antidepressant, because I was starting to mentally and emotionally detach from my life and when I realized it - Thank you God for letting me realize it - I knew I needed help. I'm on a low dose, and am starting to feel some relief already - some calming, a little less "pressure" than I was feeling before. I am a bit tired, which is a side effect, but not completely fatigued, so I'm content with things so far.
As full as my schedule is concerned- my classes are really rewarding and interesting and challenging. I get some personal satisfaction from that and when I can get B's - I'm quite happy with that. My job is necessary, but also beneficial and I enjoy what I do a lot. It's the household "stuff" that really knocks me down. I am learning (slowly) to let "good enough" be GOOD ENOUGH, but has always been hard for me to swallow.
I grew up in a very organized, very neat, very clean household. There were lists of chores and they all got done. Really. At any given moment (except when decorating for Christmas), anyone could walk into our house and it would be nearly spotless. I don't know how my mom had the energy to manage it. I don't have the energy, and even when she's helped me at my house, I move like a turtle to her rabbit's pace. I was a clutterbug and, if allowed, I was messy! I left empty cups in the living room, and shoes under the coffee tables. I would leave piles of papers or books or whatever - anywhere I could. Not for long - but it was my nature to put something down and leave it there collecting dust until I needed it again. That has not changed.
Fast forward 20 years or so, where I married a clutter bug and we now have a 2 year old and a 3 month old which, of course, require much gear and equipment and diapers and baby wipes and toys and books - and there is just no room for anyTHING let alone for anyONE sometimes! I have tried a multitude of organizational products and methods. I have done positive affirmations. I have beat myself up for failing. I have gone through our house like a tornado and thrown boxes and bags of things away. I have spent entire weekends focusing on the way my house looks, and have not enjoyed time with my girls. THAT is not satisfying. I get to cross things off my "list," but when it comes down to it, I've lost time with my husband and my girls.
So I have to learn to rethink my "List" for my life and what is important. I have to change the way I think about what is GOOD ENOUGH for my family and not what is PERFECT. Perfectionism is a disease - it is a really horrible mental and emotional trap - that disables and destroys and dysfunctionalizes (new word). I do this to myself. I do this to my family. I lose sight of what is lifelong and what REALLY matters, and get caught up in the trappings of maintaining some appearance that takes too much energy and too much time from my LIFE to keep up with.
So, I will wash my dishes (always needing clean bottles), I will do my laundry (going to work naked might NOT get me a raise), I will sweep & vacuum my floors (because God only knows what CaaaLalla WON'T put in her mouth), and I will clean my bathroom (because otherwise it's just GROSS). The rest of it may or may not get done - ever - and that will just have to be GOOD ENOUGH!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Mini Vacation with the Mini-Mes
How is it that already, at the tender ages of 2 (Princess Mini-Me) and 3 months (Princess Buttercup), the girls already resemble me in personality, looks, temperament, etc??? How amazing is it that the fingerprints of my genes just come busting out of them in ways that prevent me from denying them as my offspring? Not that I'd deny them mind you, but if I ever wanted to, I couldn't...
So I spent 3 days with my side of the family. It was SO FANTASTIC to see my parents, my brothers, their wives & kids. I realized it has been since Christmas 2006 since we had been to visit - they'd not even seen Princess KT yet... My oldest niece is just shy of her 13th birthday - a teenager already. I can remember when I got the phone call telling me she was born and how she had red hair... I was so excited to be an aunt!!! My sisters-in-law, have both lost weight, and for the few hours I spent with them, there were these moments where I actually thought to myself - they're holding Princess KT and Princess CaaaLalla is being entertained by her cousins - what the heck do I do now??? They both cooked dinner for us - Kym makes kick-butt pizza and Lyn made a really yummy Shrimp Linguine, after she bought me lunch at a Mexican restaurant! They got to play with all of their Polish cousins...
Hubby couldn't go - between work and a training class he had to take - he couldn't come with us. But getting away from home - no phone calls for me, no real laundry to worry about, no cobwebs and dust layers mocking me - what a nice little break that was. So yeah, I've got to work on the laundry, cobwebs & dust layers now, but I am a little more refreshed and have a better attitude about it...
AND I even got to sleep in a couple of times (past 6:30 am...) My dad made coffee every morning - mom made special treats - it was really nice to take some time off!!! I feel much better now. Am glad to be back home with my husband and girls - even work isn't too bad today. Sleep lends an amazing perspective to life...
So I spent 3 days with my side of the family. It was SO FANTASTIC to see my parents, my brothers, their wives & kids. I realized it has been since Christmas 2006 since we had been to visit - they'd not even seen Princess KT yet... My oldest niece is just shy of her 13th birthday - a teenager already. I can remember when I got the phone call telling me she was born and how she had red hair... I was so excited to be an aunt!!! My sisters-in-law, have both lost weight, and for the few hours I spent with them, there were these moments where I actually thought to myself - they're holding Princess KT and Princess CaaaLalla is being entertained by her cousins - what the heck do I do now??? They both cooked dinner for us - Kym makes kick-butt pizza and Lyn made a really yummy Shrimp Linguine, after she bought me lunch at a Mexican restaurant! They got to play with all of their Polish cousins...
Hubby couldn't go - between work and a training class he had to take - he couldn't come with us. But getting away from home - no phone calls for me, no real laundry to worry about, no cobwebs and dust layers mocking me - what a nice little break that was. So yeah, I've got to work on the laundry, cobwebs & dust layers now, but I am a little more refreshed and have a better attitude about it...
AND I even got to sleep in a couple of times (past 6:30 am...) My dad made coffee every morning - mom made special treats - it was really nice to take some time off!!! I feel much better now. Am glad to be back home with my husband and girls - even work isn't too bad today. Sleep lends an amazing perspective to life...
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